Not a therapist, but what you say about projecting meaning resonates with how I've felt as an adult therapy client with a well-developed spiritual system. In the throes of acute trouble, receiving therapy is easy, because I'm flooded with emotions that need to be worked through. But once the storm passes, I find it too easy to get into what seem like competing paradigms between myself and the therapist. I can't and don't want to turn off my years of finding meaning in my experiences, and let them lead me by the hand through their own vision. But there's been no professional desire to let me be the tour guide of my own psyche either. It could be at that point I just don't need therapy. But I can articulate the problems I want help with. The statement that everybody could use a little therapy annoys me because... I've tried. It just doesn't work.
What you say resonates. Maybe once you’ve done enough inner work, particularly through a spiritual lens too, it’s harder to find a therapist that fits. I feel sad reading that though because as therapists it really isn’t about us framing people’s experiences or making meaning for them, but walking together—and so often we have to walk through unknown lands (either because of different cultural/religious/economic backgrounds or simply because they’re going through something we haven’t experienced yet). That’s why this job is so magical. But there are indeed other ways of working with someone, including spiritual mentorship or coaching etc. Therapy isn’t the only way.
I know, I know. I think it has happened to all of us. When I was a trainee, I was older than many of the 'authorities.' But it's all grist for the mill. I kept the memory of that particular power differential in mind when working with my own clients because it certainly exists in the client-therapist relationship.
I always enjoy your reflections Maria! And having experienced this both in training as a therapist and as a therapy client, it has made me super aware of trying not to do it to clients. I think one of my most humbling learnings as a therapist is to not make assumptions about someone else’s experience and to always check in with them if I do offer an interpretation. And of course I am sure I don’t do it perfectly either and sometimes get caught in the power dynamic!
I’m with you, Hiba! And because we both share a love for astrology—I found that having awareness of the complexity of any natal chart makes me much more open to someone’s quirks and less inclined to assume how they ought to be based on my ideas of what’s normal. Do you experience that too?
Not a therapist, but what you say about projecting meaning resonates with how I've felt as an adult therapy client with a well-developed spiritual system. In the throes of acute trouble, receiving therapy is easy, because I'm flooded with emotions that need to be worked through. But once the storm passes, I find it too easy to get into what seem like competing paradigms between myself and the therapist. I can't and don't want to turn off my years of finding meaning in my experiences, and let them lead me by the hand through their own vision. But there's been no professional desire to let me be the tour guide of my own psyche either. It could be at that point I just don't need therapy. But I can articulate the problems I want help with. The statement that everybody could use a little therapy annoys me because... I've tried. It just doesn't work.
What you say resonates. Maybe once you’ve done enough inner work, particularly through a spiritual lens too, it’s harder to find a therapist that fits. I feel sad reading that though because as therapists it really isn’t about us framing people’s experiences or making meaning for them, but walking together—and so often we have to walk through unknown lands (either because of different cultural/religious/economic backgrounds or simply because they’re going through something we haven’t experienced yet). That’s why this job is so magical. But there are indeed other ways of working with someone, including spiritual mentorship or coaching etc. Therapy isn’t the only way.
I know, I know. I think it has happened to all of us. When I was a trainee, I was older than many of the 'authorities.' But it's all grist for the mill. I kept the memory of that particular power differential in mind when working with my own clients because it certainly exists in the client-therapist relationship.
It absolutely does! And I can't imagine what it's like to be older than those infantilising you during training. Was it easier to disengage from it?
I don't know for sure but power is power...
I always enjoy your reflections Maria! And having experienced this both in training as a therapist and as a therapy client, it has made me super aware of trying not to do it to clients. I think one of my most humbling learnings as a therapist is to not make assumptions about someone else’s experience and to always check in with them if I do offer an interpretation. And of course I am sure I don’t do it perfectly either and sometimes get caught in the power dynamic!
I’m with you, Hiba! And because we both share a love for astrology—I found that having awareness of the complexity of any natal chart makes me much more open to someone’s quirks and less inclined to assume how they ought to be based on my ideas of what’s normal. Do you experience that too?
Yes astrology is great for that, and also seeing that each of us has our own learnings and paths in life!