Thank you for sharing this powerful piece. It is beautifully written and speaks to the importance of the parent-child dynamic, specifically the impact of unconscious thoughts, the psyche, intergenerational trauma, and "hauntings." Parents hold responsibility for engaging in mindful parenting and their own psychotherapeutic work. In the absence of working through (becoming conscious of) projections and taking ownership of them, parents unconsciously project onto their children (and their children) perpetuating a vicious cycle. And yet, Healing is possible and powerful, if the work is done.
I resonated with some of the things included in the article namely - "the parents feel so threatened by the child’s impulses that they respond defensively, instilling a fear in the child of their own nature" and "The persona-ego often presents as good, obedient, stoical, and pleasing." I didn't understand my need to fit in at all costs until I started therapy and some of the experiences I had growing up got to be reframed which shifted the blame from my parents into ownership as an adult for the past. It's not an easy feeling to live with and you explained it beautifully that it helps and harms the person that is staying in this complex. Looking forward to the next articles!
P.s. you made me look up scapegoating “signatures” in the natal chart :) thanks for the 'prompt'!
Yep, that last paragraph really resonated with me. Grew up being cool, always trying to be accepted. As an adult I tend to have a victim mentality and blaming my emotions on anyone around me, which i am now a lot more aware of. After a lot of therapy I now have a felt sense of what it means to ‘take responsibility of your emotions’ and i feel more empowered and I am able to self-regulate although I was never modelled it growing up. Thanks for this brilliant as usual essay, Maria.
Thank you for sharing this powerful piece. It is beautifully written and speaks to the importance of the parent-child dynamic, specifically the impact of unconscious thoughts, the psyche, intergenerational trauma, and "hauntings." Parents hold responsibility for engaging in mindful parenting and their own psychotherapeutic work. In the absence of working through (becoming conscious of) projections and taking ownership of them, parents unconsciously project onto their children (and their children) perpetuating a vicious cycle. And yet, Healing is possible and powerful, if the work is done.
I resonated with some of the things included in the article namely - "the parents feel so threatened by the child’s impulses that they respond defensively, instilling a fear in the child of their own nature" and "The persona-ego often presents as good, obedient, stoical, and pleasing." I didn't understand my need to fit in at all costs until I started therapy and some of the experiences I had growing up got to be reframed which shifted the blame from my parents into ownership as an adult for the past. It's not an easy feeling to live with and you explained it beautifully that it helps and harms the person that is staying in this complex. Looking forward to the next articles!
P.s. you made me look up scapegoating “signatures” in the natal chart :) thanks for the 'prompt'!
Yep, that last paragraph really resonated with me. Grew up being cool, always trying to be accepted. As an adult I tend to have a victim mentality and blaming my emotions on anyone around me, which i am now a lot more aware of. After a lot of therapy I now have a felt sense of what it means to ‘take responsibility of your emotions’ and i feel more empowered and I am able to self-regulate although I was never modelled it growing up. Thanks for this brilliant as usual essay, Maria.