“The expectations that we have of ourselves, of mothers, to always be kind, to never be harsh, to be empathic and understanding and attuned are actually leading us to be bad mothers in another kind of way.”
Well, this is exciting.
Lisa Marchiano is a Jungian analyst, writer, and co-host of This Jungian Life podcast. She’s also a mum of two, and has recently published her own take on motherhood through the lens of Jungian psychology. I’m so grateful for all the wisdom and humour she brought to this conversation, and I hope you enjoy our chat as much as I did!
Show notes:
On the two main myths that we can live out: motherhood and the hero’s myth, and whether they belong to any gender.
Motherhood as a journey of individuation seen through James Hillman’s acorn theory.
The parental fallacy: are we overstating nurture?
Motherhood as an opportunity to heal and get our agency back, as told through The Handless Maiden fairy tale.
When motherhood is not a journey of individuation: mothers who regret motherhood, the cycle of connection and disconnection, attachment.
The shadow of motherhood, the bad mother vs the dangerous mother, and the step-mother archetype in fairy tales.
Trauma, destiny, and the parent’s role to help a child build resilience.
The mother wound vs the father wound.
The mother archetype, how the positive and negative mother complex manifest, and how to heal the mother wound by mothering yourself.
The father wound as daimonic possession, and the Rumpelstiltskin fairy tale.
Dept. of further investigation:
Buy Lisa’s book on her website or Amazon
Lisa’s article Marrying Mr. Rochester: Redeeming the Negative Father Complex
Four episodes of This Jungian Life podcast: The Dark Side of Mothering, Motherhood as a journey of individuation, Negative mother complex, Healing the negative father complex
Four Archetypes by Carl Jung
Regretting motherhood by Orna Donath
Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids by Meghan Daum
Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion by Meghan Daum
Mothers who can’t love: A Healing Guide for Daughters by Susan Forward
Make it scream, make it burn by Leslie Jamison
Motherhood by Sheila Heti
Burnt Sugar by Avni Doshi
Music by Joystock
Thank you for listening! Please support Begin Again by liking and sharing this post, and leaving a comment below - I’d love to hear from you.
[Free episode] Motherhood: A Conversation with Lisa Marchiano